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sentinel

Is depression a sign of living in sin?

I am 25 and I am for the first time coming to the Lord, after spending a decade in passive sin, convinced there was no God. I've had ADHD since birth, and OCD (both of which I think are BS inventions of the modern mental inquisition known as psychiatry, but at least I exhibit strong symptoms of those), a predisposition to anxiety (which developed into a full-blown debilitating disorder for 3 years before bringing it back under control), and also a very sensitive nature that results in some horrible bouts of depression with suicidal tendencies. I also have a ton of suppressed traumas which have resulted in an inability to recollect large fragments of my past. Reading this you'd think I were female but no, I'm a guy haha.

Anyway, it has only been a few months since I started my journey toward Christ. It came rather by accident (or perhaps was willed by Him, but I'm speaking from my perspective), because I always cared about truth the most, and research of the nature of reality has led me to conclude that anything outside the word of God is a deception. As I gradually became more aware of my evil tendencies I noticed great turmoil in me, and I plunged into a deep depression that has basically paralyzed me for the past two months which I am now just starting to emerge from. I have incredible mood swings and I'm praying to Jesus every day to deliver me from this, sometimes with tears in my eyes. Are demons trying to prevent me from coming to Christ and increasing my temptations and pain? I have caught glimpses of spiritual freedom and I know Jesus is real, but I'm also frightened by the realization of how little control I have over my thoughts and moods, and I'm not sure if I will be worthy of salvation, because the Bible says that all you have to do is put all of your trust in the Lord, and let Him guide you. However, I often get depressed and discouraged easily. Am I in the grip of sin, and what can I do about it? Can I actually be reborn, and truly put all the suffering of the past behind me?
BornAgain2

I too throughout much of my childhood/teen/young adult years suffered through these "chemical imbalance" symptoms, so I know what you went through.

FYI - these are NOT, I repeat NOT "hereditary" genes or "something you're born with". ALOT of these factors come from the poisons they put in our foods(MSG and many other preservatives the NWO companies intentionally put there), the flouride in the water, chemtrails, vaccine shots(the autism bug that's been going around), etc, etc. We can go on and on, but they are LARGELY ENVIRONMENTAL(or whatever you want to call it) factors. Ultimately, the psychiatry "industry" has been part of the NWO plan to clamp control over our public school systems by and large. I mean it's come to a point now where if some young boy merely acts out in class, he's sent to a psychiatrist, and that psychiatrist gives him some prescription drug that will end up putting him in quite a big of bondage.

Also - remember Romans 7 - even Paul says he's a very wretched man b/c of the evil he would do and think when he would not want to do these things. Even he had many battles with this. Or how about David in Psalms - no matter how many enemies he was surrounded by, he would always confess his many sins and have fear of the Lord/walk in his commandments.

In Galatians, Paul also says that the flesh warreth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh.

Ultimately - this is my big problem with today's "churchianity" - they act like if you come up during their "alter calls", you will get saved, and the rest of your life will be peaches and cream. NOT true at all - what they forget to tell you is that as Christians, are battles are SPIRITUAL(Eph 6:12-19, Romans 7, and Gal 5).

And remember too in I John 1 when John says whoever says he is without sin, he is a liar and hath made God a liar.

Jesus' death and resurrection was a ONE TIME EVENT - he died for ALL mankind's sin. It is FINISHED, it is DONE! Praise the Lord that he has COVERED our sin with his blood!

But to answer your question - just be thankful you are SAVED, and the Holy Spirit is leading you daily over discernment, what decisions to make, etc. Like I mentioned in a thread yesterday, the GRAND delusion is really coming right around the corner(as evidenced by my entire class thinking climate change is real). God protects his own, God provides for his own, God will chase after those whom he loves and chasten them. Ultimately, God is in control!
sentinel

Thank you BornAgain, I knew you'd come through. Your last remarks are precisely what I'm worried about. Has God chosen me as one of His own, ultimately? I don't expect you to answer that, I'm just wondering. I am pretty sure He has chosen you, but I'm less sure about myself. I just have so much pain bottled up, it's really hard for me to be forgiving, though I try. I sometimes indulge in wrath purely for pleasure and the feeling of power it gives me, but I usually stop myself sooner than I used to. In fact, before my journey to the truth I never made an effort. But I still got a long way to go. I feel like I was punished more than I deserve, which I recognize as a sin because as believers we must believe that God is just. I'm just still angry about living in isolation and not being able to feel love even when it was given to me by those around me. I know that my anger stems only from a lack of conviction in my faith, because if I really had it, I would not be angry, knowing that He has seen my suffering and heard my pleas. But without absolute conviction, there is room for anger to manifest. I realize how dirty my robes are, and I don't know if I can join the bride when He returns. I really cry almost every day about this. Anyway, that's that. Thanks for reading.
BornAgain2

sentinel wrote:
Thank you BornAgain, I knew you'd come through. Your last remarks are precisely what I'm worried about. Has God chosen me as one of His own, ultimately? I don't expect you to answer that, I'm just wondering. I am pretty sure He has chosen you, but I'm less sure about myself. I just have so much pain bottled up, it's really hard for me to be forgiving, though I try. I sometimes indulge in wrath purely for pleasure and the feeling of power it gives me, but I usually stop myself sooner than I used to.


Psa 40:12  For innumerable evils have compassed me about: mine iniquities have taken hold upon me, so that I am not able to look up; they are more than the hairs of mine head: therefore my heart faileth me.
Psa 40:13  Be pleased, O LORD, to deliver me: O LORD, make haste to help me.
Psa 40:14  Let them be ashamed and confounded together that seek after my soul to destroy it; let them be driven backward and put to shame that wish me evil.
Psa 40:15  Let them be desolate for a reward of their shame that say unto me, Aha, aha.
Psa 40:16  Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: let such as love thy salvation say continually, The LORD be magnified.
Psa 40:17  But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.

1Th 1:5  For our gospel came not unto you in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy Ghost, and in much assurance; as ye know what manner of men we were among you for your sake.
1Th 1:6  And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost:

2Th 1:3  We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth;
2Th 1:4  So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure:
2Th 1:5  Which is a manifest token of the righteous judgment of God, that ye may be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which ye also suffer:
2Th 1:6  Seeing it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you;
2Th 1:7  And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
2Th 1:8  In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
2Th 1:9  Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power;
2Th 1:10  When he shall come to be glorified in his saints, and to be admired in all them that believe (because our testimony among you was believed) in that day.

Quote:
In fact, before my journey to the truth I never made an effort. But I still got a long way to go. I feel like I was punished more than I deserve, which I recognize as a sin because as believers we must believe that God is just. I'm just still angry about living in isolation and not being able to feel love even when it was given to me by those around me. I know that my anger stems only from a lack of conviction in my faith, because if I really had it, I would not be angry, knowing that He has seen my suffering and heard my pleas. But without absolute conviction, there is room for anger to manifest. I realize how dirty my robes are, and I don't know if I can join the bride when He returns. I really cry almost every day about this. Anyway, that's that. Thanks for reading.


1Co 1:18  For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.
1Co 1:19  For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.
1Co 1:20  Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?
1Co 1:21  For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe.
1Co 1:22  For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom:
1Co 1:23  But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness;
1Co 1:24  But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.
1Co 1:25  Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
1Co 1:26  For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:
1Co 1:27  But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;
1Co 1:28  And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are:
1Co 1:29  That no flesh should glory in his presence.
1Co 1:30  But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption:
1Co 1:31  That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

My comments to the last post - I too had a very difficult childhood, teenage years, and even young adult years in college. But here's the flip side of the coin - through all this, God shielded me from alot of the worldly, even wicked stuff. For example, if I had alot of friends then to hang out with, I would have seen alot of worldly movies, went to alot of wicked parties(with drinking and other abominable stuff), dated alot of girls which would probably have been unsaved, I can go on and on. Even the youth groups at my church really didn't want to intermingle with me.

Ultimately, over the long haul, I am incredibly thankful how God allowed this to happen to me, b/c he SHIELDED me from alot of this stuff. Scripture stresses to abhor evil, and avoid it(alot like these worldly movies and parties expose one to). And while I'll admit I hated my mom in the short term for limiting my movie-going to no more than 3 times a year, hounded me for listening to secular rock music, and took me to music lessons every single week, over the LONG haul, I am GRATEFUL for
for what she did. "You reap what you sow" - as a parent, she did a very, very darn good job in sowing the good seeds.(ie-I mean I had NO idea Alister Crowley, one of the most wicked men in this world, INFLUENCED the rock n' roll industry!).

I mean if it comes to a point where all your classmates, friends, etc are saying how wretched your mom is for merely criticizing the rock n' roll industry...don't mean to sound judgemental, but Jesus and the Apostles stressed that you can't get anything out of this world, b/c its works are evil.

I understand what you are saying, completely, and I don't mean to ramble about myself too much here, but I emphathize what you went through, as I went through the same thing too. But ultimately, sometimes we have to look at and reflect and be THANKFUL, b/c sometimes we don't realize, and even forget, that even while we were unsaved at the time, God's mercy and longsuffering promises are never broken.
CJ

There are 2 kinds of DEPRESSION - clinical which can be treated with meds, and 'the blues' for a few days over circumstances.

Perhaps we could add a 3rd catagory - when one lives in disobedience to the written word of GOD, yet claims to be 'christian' they may be depressed for spiritual reasons.

GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED
Elbert

Hi Author,
I heard there are many types of depression. I searched on net and found these results.
Major Depression,
Atypical Depression,
Psychotic Depression,
Dysthymia and
Manic Depression
TomL

sentinel wrote:
Thank you BornAgain, I knew you'd come through. Your last remarks are precisely what I'm worried about. Has God chosen me as one of His own, ultimately? I don't expect you to answer that, I'm just wondering. I am pretty sure He has chosen you, but I'm less sure about myself. I just have so much pain bottled up,


For give me for interrupting, but I have a suggestion for you.  I don't know where you live.  But if you can, go to a secluded place in the mountains, and scream your head off.  I do that myself when I get too bottled up in side.  It works wonders, at least for me.  

I thought to my self, if I ever had the money, I'd build a building with a bunch of sound proof cubicles and let people come in and scream.  I'd call it "The Scream of the Town."  

Also, another thing I do is watch something funny like episodes of "Mr. Ed."  It's important to laugh as often as you can.  

I have a humor forum on my forum site.  It might help you laugh.  Laughter is a great medicine.

Quote:
it's really hard for me to be forgiving, though I try. I sometimes indulge in wrath purely for pleasure and the feeling of power it gives me, but I usually stop myself sooner than I used to. In fact, before my journey to the truth I never made an effort. But I still got a long way to go. I feel like I was punished more than I deserve, which I recognize as a sin because as believers we must believe that God is just. I'm just still angry about living in isolation and not being able to feel love even when it was given to me by those around me. I know that my anger stems only from a lack of conviction in my faith, because if I really had it, I would not be angry, knowing that He has seen my suffering and heard my pleas. But without absolute conviction, there is room for anger to manifest. I realize how dirty my robes are, and I don't know if I can join the bride when He returns. I really cry almost every day about this. Anyway, that's that. Thanks for reading.


One more piece of advice.  Read the 4th Book of Maccabees.

God bless.

TL
CJ

REMEMBER - the Catholic bible contains books NOT GOD-inspired.
Maccabees is NOT word of God - its history, not scripture
.
TomL

CJ wrote:
REMEMBER - the Catholic bible contains books NOT GOD-inspired.
Maccabees is NOT word of God - its history, not scripture
.


Neither is "The Sovereignty of God" by AW Pink inspired by God, but it's still a good book.  

Smile
CNTVHost

Thank You CJ for comment

True the Maccbees is NOT word of God-and its good CJ you remind persons of this when they maybe experinceing depperssion. The devil or his demons use everything to keep hurting you. Good looking out CJ!
ktrk

We all go through depression at some point in our lives. The trick to live a happy and fulfilling life is to believe in yourself and trust in God. God has a plan for everybody.Pray regularly and take comfort in thinking about how much you have already been blessed in life.
honestwoman

Here's a good read about the topic.

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/m...reject-the-guilt-embrace-the-cure

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